Friday, July 28, 2017

410 BC.Three wanderers arrive in a small town by the Mediterranean Sea.

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jokes
Andreas, Mikael and Jason, exhausted, thanked all the Gods they knew of when they stumbled upon that Greek town. Though, there was one God that they didn’t know of. Uqarus, God of Prosperity.
They were welcomed by two inhabitants, Veesaus and Telephus, two tall muscular men, supposedly guardians of the city, who even offered them to indefinitely settle in their town.
Offer which, at first, the three wanderers rejected.
About a week passed, and they were still being fed and taken care of by the many women living in that city. 
This heaven on earth without obligation seemed the perfect place to take advantage of the community’s wealth, cultivation and culture.
But they would soon realize that all of this comes at a price.
Every week or so, all the inhabitants would gather together in front of the town’s temple. 
It was without a doubt the most beautiful piece of architecture the wanderers had ever seen. It was simply spectacular. They watched, as the rite started.
Some animals were sacrificed on the altar and thus offered to Uqarus, along with the week’s harvests. Everyone started to chant Uqarus’s name. 
After a few seconds, even Jason, the most skeptical one of the wanderers, accepted to sing along, in order not to be poorly looked upon. After all, those people had welcomed him in their home, and the least he could do was pray with them to their imaginary God.
Or so he thought.
Uqarus revealed itself not so imaginary when, out of nowhere, a deep voice filled the whole town, if not the entire region. Four simple words came out.
“Bed, Melina, Jason, House”
Jason, having heard his name, was intrigued.
 A young woman got up and walked next to the altar. 
She looked at Jason, as if she was waiting for him to join her. After a few seconds of everyone waiting and not saying anything, he did what he though was right.
Jason got up and went to the other side of the altar.
 The girl, Melina, took him by the hand. They left the temple and arrived in front of a house.
 It was the only actual house in town. It had a stone floor and a bed, along with other “real” furniture that the other homes didn’t have. Jason asked Melina what was happening.
“It’s a mating order,” she explained. “Uqarus decided that you and I should have a baby. That’s how we reproduce, it never fails. I was conceived that way and so was my father.”
Melina was a truly beautiful woman, and a God had decided so.
 Jason had no choice but to accept.
He told Mikael and Andreas what happened, and the three of them realized that Jason was now bound to live in this town. They decided to stay with him for a week, until the next ceremony, and leave the town afterwards.
The following week, when everyone prayed in front of the temple, Uqarus spoke.
“Grass, Andreas, Muriel, Field”
Andreas realized that he was now forced to stay in this town as well.
Out of support, Mikael decided to stay with him one more week. But to make sure that the God would not want him to have a baby with one of the inhabitants, he spent the whole week flirting with all of them.
He fornicated with a majority of the young women in town, and on the last day he packed up, ready to leave.
He decided to attend the ceremony one more time.
This time, Uqarus sounded furious. He spoke.
“Hay, Veesaus, Mikael, Here.”
👏😁😂
source:reddit.com

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